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New Pen
by Jessica Messinger
I got a new pen of fancy design.
Fancy that; I look quite refined.
I dined diet drinks before,
But never quite like this before.
An electronic pen with LED.
Configured to write just for me,
Enter the code,
Press this and press that,
A formidable opponent,
Sir Jack Kerouac.
Knighted through reputation alone,
A sudden burst forward and the propellant intended to destroy the malevolent alien creatures somehow comes back like I just raced against the wind and won a daily supply of your instant prizes, sizes vary slightly. .
Surprising to see you here. Aren't you alone?
In English we say, 'Are you' not 'aren't you' I explain.
So what did I say?
You said the opposite, but it made no sense.
It made sense to me.
Yeah, but you don't count.
Ah, that's amazing you understood you.
I always understand me.
Then how did you know what I mint?
It's you understood me, meant not mint, and because I was once an ESL student just like you.
So you understand?
More than I want to.
I don't understand.
What does this mean?
More than I want to?
It's an American expression,
You wouldn't understand it.
I don't understand it.
Do you have a death wish?
You know I do, instinctively replies yet another Freudian slip of sorts.
So what's so important about this pen? - i ask I.
It's not just a pen, it's much, much more. Check out these amazing features.
Like what?
Well, the price for one.
It's much more expensive
What else is so special?
His corny routine still convincing enough that a man of my intelligence would fall for such a lazy sales routine?
And this one we have is even more expensive, but it's much much better.
Better? How is it better?
It's very technical, I don't want to bore you with details, but it's much better. You should just trust me. Do I look like I would lie? I don't need your money.
Does the one four forty work?
One four forty is just the right price.